October is a spooky month I guess...

I almost died this morning. 

John Ralph usually leaves for work a little after 5AM.  I'm pretty good at getting his stuff together the night before so that I don't have to wake up as early.  Then I start my day when it's actually light outside.  Well this morning seemed to be no different.

After I got up and fixed myself some breakfast, I gave him a call to see what the day was looking like.  He didn't answer, so I figured he was busy at work.  I decided to jump in the shower and get ready. 

Our bathroom is kind of tricky.  There are two glass doors that open to the outside, and you're supposed to open them when you shower to let the steam out.  Well, when you open the glass doors, if the regular bathroom door isn't closed all the way it will blow open and slam closed when the wind blows in the bathroom through the glass doors. 

This morning, I was having a particularly hard time with the bathroom doors.  I kept shutting the regular door, but it kept blowing back open.  Right before I got into the shower, I slammed it shut, making sure it latched.  Not a minute later (while I was in the shower) I heard the door open again.  The shower doors are etched, so when you're in the shower you can't see what's going on in the bathroom.  I couldn't believe the door had managed to blow open again.  So I open the shower door to shut the bathroom door yet again, only this time I see this man standing there.  In no way, shape, or form did it register in my brain that it was my husband. 

I hate being scared.  Hate it.  I don't watch scary movies.  I don't read scary books.  I hate people jumping out at me.  Do.  Not.  Like.  It. 

Anyway, like I said, for the first 30 seconds it did not rigister at all that I was actually married to the guy standing in my bathroom.  I couldn't even suck in enough air to form a scream.  I just stood there, frozen, trying to figure out how I was going to hurt the man standing in my bathroom, so that I could escape.  I'm pretty sure my heart actually stopped beating.  When I finally composed myself enough to form a sentence, it only contained words that would make a sailor blush.  John Ralph just giggled and walked back out.

At first he said he was just "trying to be sweet, and let me know he was home early".  But I knew better.  I knew that there was a little too much mischeif in his giggle.  I finally got out of him that he had planned on opening the shower door to scare me.  HOW TERRIBLE IS THAT?!?  I tried to think about what would have happened if he had done that.  I seriously think I would have passed out.  Or died.  Or both. 

All I can say, sweet husband, is payback can be and ugly, ugly thing.  You better sleep with one eye open.